making assassins creed watch youtube
by tawnycat
Summary: the characters from assassins creed watch youtube ( warning about explicit content in chapter 8) ( leave suggestions for videos in the comments thing)
1. introduction

In Jerusalem-

Altair was about to jump from the building he was on …

In Florence –

Ezio was on his way up to a sync point…

In Boston –

Connor was hunting in the frontier …

In Paris –

Arno was about to go through a door …

In all 5places at once a bright white light could be seen but only to the assassins could see it where were they going …

After a while-

One by one the five assassins dropped onto the floor in a tangle of limbs and curses in many different languages.

"Where are we?" Arno asked a strange black shrouded figure.

"You will know in time, Arno." the shrouded figure said

"How do you know my name? "Arno said

"Who are you?" Altair asked

"Show you self "Connor said

The figure came out of the shadows; she was wearing a black version of Altair's robes "I am tawnycat but you can call me tawny and you are in a cinema or you are going to watch something called YouTube."

"What is this you tube?" ezio asked

"YouTube is something were people put moving pictures on a wall for entertainment. "Tawny said

To be continued…

**disclaimer i don't own anything except tawny and my imaginaion**


	2. my hat is a taco

Tawny went to sit at a lap top in the corner of the room and then the wall burst into life.

"The first video we are going to watch is "My Hat is a Taco" oh and I nearly forgot. "Tawny snapped her fingers and then on the floor was a slightly dazed haytham.

"What is he doing here?!" Connor screamed

"I can invite who I like." Tawny said

Then haytham got up from the floor and went to sit next to Connor just to annoy him.

"Anyway let's get on with the video." Tawny said

**A picture of haytham appeared on the wall and over the top of the picture it said my hat is a taco.**

"What the heck!?" Ezio and Arno said in unison

Connor and Altair were on the floor laughing so hard that they were crying, haytham just sat there looking horrified at what he just heard.

"What do you think?" Tawny said

"That was so funny "Connor and Altair said in unison

To be continued…

I hope you guys liked it takes ages to find a funny video on YouTube so if you find any tell me

watch?v=RqZaZQrDFdQ


	3. assassins creed II spoof

"Right next video, this one is called "assassin's creed II spoof." tawny said with a hint of evilness.

"Dio mio, this isn't going to go well." Ezio face palmed

**The screen comes to life and it says **

**Ezio and Leonardo are on screen speaking **

**The blade, I managed to decipher the parchment it showed me exactly what to do –Scottish accent-but I wouldn't give a f**k.**

**Then some jumpy music starts and a picture of ezio walking is there and changes to different pictures of ezio, then the words assassin's creed II spoof jump on screen.**

"What the hell? "Altair said trying to stifle a laugh.

**A picture of ezio and his mother are on screen talking …**

**Self-expression is vital to understanding and enjoying life, you should find an outlet**

**Ezio says I have plenty of outlets.**

Ezio sat bright red and knew what was coming

**I meant other than vaginas…**

**Then the words –processing- appear very slowly**

**And then bright colours appear **

**And say over a video of ezio **

**Every time we touch I get this feeling, and every time we kiss I believe I could fly**

**And then the words "yeah you could expect more of ezio wanting to get into Leonardo's pants "in this,**

**, then words say **

**Let's find a rock, I mean a big ass rock, or maybe something like a cinder-block is better , I'll hoist it up and drop it on your face,-British accent –I've gone and soiled myself , I hope you happy now.**

**Next scene the words hey are on screen and some music plays. ****_(A/n I can't be bothered to explain it all look at the bottom for the video,)_**** then ezio holding someone he's just killed who is saying my diet is ruined I hope you're happy now,**

**Then a video clip saying reaches back like a boss and slap the hoe**

**Then ezio and Leonardo are speaking but an audio clip from Sponge-Bob is playing (a/n, and again I can't be bothered)**

**Then it says after it has changed scene a some duct tape and a bloody big hammer your gonna be busy the weekend**

**Then the words appear, "now let's do something a bit more manlier for ezzy-kins"**

**The song starts to play and shows clips of ezio fighting and other clips and then shows a picture with words underneath it saying ezio is not happy, and dear god help me, and puppy dog eyes are hard to pull off when you're an assassin.**

**And then ezio saying something and nodding his head up and down and the word I think I've broken ezio**

"Can't be broken I'm a human being." ezio fumed

**Then squeaky blade not so useful**

_**I cannot be bothered to write anymore of this so here is the YouTube link thingy **_** watch?v=4oPD563Y5x0**

"That was so funny I think I'm going to die. "Connor howled

"Ma che cazzo "ezio grumbled

"I feel sorry for you ezio" Haytham kindly said

"Mon dieu" Arno laughed And Altair just laughing on the floor unable to speak

To be continued

**Translations :**

**Mon dieu – my god**

**Ma che cazzo – what the fuck**

**Dio mio – my god**

**_What did you think of that, did you find it funny if you did please review and give my constructive criticism and sorry for the long wait I have been quite busy and stuff _**

**_I will see you next update _**


	4. Greatest freakout ever

"Ok welcome today we are going to watch the greatest freak out ever "tawny said

"Dio mio what will this be like "ezio mumbled whilst Connor, Arno and Altair sat quietly giving tawny a death stare

"I heard that and any way let's begin "tawny finished, and the screen burst into life

**The video stares with poor quality and a shaky camera with some shouting in the background.**

**The kid starts to freak out.**

"He sounds like a stuck pig "Arno laughed

"And what is he doing "Altair who was half asleep said

**The kid flops around on his bed he gets under quilt and takes his trousers off he comes back out of the quilt without a shirt.**

"How did he get his shirt off so quick" Connor asked

Whilst tawny was behind the lap top laughing

**The kid goes in the closet and comes out a second later and then throwing his arms around and goes on the floor he grabs a TV remote and shoves it up his butt and then coughs, goes in the closet and gets a shoe and hits his head with it and then goes on the bed and acts like a fish he stops and then punches his bed and goes and opens the door.**

"What was that and why was he acting like a fish "Altair said, wiping away a tear

"I cannot un-see "Connor and Arno wailed at the same time

**Thank for reading please give my suggestions and review .see you next time byeeeeeeeee ****J**

** Greatest freak out ever video : /watch?v=YersIyzsOpc**


	5. don't hug me im scared

"Hi guys welcome back" tawny exclaimed excitedly.

"what are you Exited about "Altair asked stoically.

"a new member of the group, I would like to welcome, Jacob and Evie Frye "tawny announced. And with a colourful bang the two said assassins fell to the floor.

"wot the bloody hell was that "Jacob demanded.

"now, now calm down Jacob" Evie said.

"welcome to mah domain and with that over shall we carry on "tawny exclaimed. With that said tawny powered up the laptop and clicked on DON'T HUG ME IM SCARED.

**The screen came to life and the words don't hug me I'm scared came on screen**

**Then the screen says get creative and then shows three characters sitting at a table, the drawing pad comes to life and music starts and says **

"**what's your favourite idea mine is being creative."**

**Yellow monster-how do you get that idea**

**(some I will skip because I am lazy)**

Ezio – oh god not a song

**(time skip to creepy part)**

Connor, wailing – why it's so baby like, why

**It goes into animation and a human's hand that is making something and the and a hand sprinkling glitter then goes to creepy animation and after that a dancing monster thing, the music starts to get creepy and then a hand slowly turning over a heart.**

Jacob &amp; Arno, horrified – what the bloody hell is that thing.

Tawny, casually – a plastic human heart

**The monsters start to clap whilst one takes a piece of cake that has some sort of red thing (guts) inside of it, the word death comes up. Then the drawing pad says let's all agree to not be creative again.**

Ezio, nearly crying – I cannot un-see

Evie – oh god why

Haytham – I kinda liked it to be honest. *all the assassins have their hidden blades to his throat*

**Hi guys, please give me more videos to wright and please review and other stuff. byeee**

**link to video - ****watch?v=9C_HReR_McQ**


	6. rapping dog from titanic: animated film

"hello itt's-a me "tawny screamed in a very bad mock Italian accent.

"hey, what have you got against Italian people ?!" Ezio retaliated

"anyway let's get on with today's video. today we are going to watch… (dramatic affect) Rapping Dog from Titanic: The Animated Movie "tawny manically laughed while turning on the laptop.

"oh no" Haytham said.

With that tawny clicked the video and it played-

**Mouse- "If it hadn't been now for you I would have been is someone else's digestion" **

**Dog - "well, from now on try not to strike out on your own without checking with me first, because you see I am responsible for how the animals behave on this mhe"**

**-music starts-**

"oh for the mother of god "all the assassins groaned

**(I think you should have a look it's a strange one watch?v=3ONIQZdbpwY )**

**Dog – do you know, do you really know, do you really, really know, do you know it yes or no**** (time skip, to end, I can't keep up with it) **

"what the hell did I watch "Evie and Altair said in unison.

"do you know, do you really know, do you really, really know, do you know it yes or no" Jacob, Arno and Ezio were singing terribly out of tune.

"I know I'm a Templar but this is a new type of torture, I will tell you everything! "Haytham shouted above the ruckus, all the assassins but Connor who was asleep, stopped and pinned him to the floor.

"why does this always happen to me "Haytham said wheezing and gasping to breath

"everyone gets off him he hasn't done anything wrong "tawny shrieked as all the assassins got off.

"fine "they all replied.

"ok someone help me wake up Connor." Tawny gestured toward Connor.

"me I will do it "Jacob exclaimed as he went over and literally jumped on Connor, he jumped up swinging his tomahawk around, as Jacob was getting up and caught him on the cheek. Evie lunged at Connor, Altair tried to stop her and Ezio tried to stop him, Arno joined in for the fun of it. eventually all the assassins but Haytham were rolling around on the floor.

"ok stop that's enough, time for sleep." tawny said

"but you're not the boss of us "they all said running toward tawny but she clicked her fingers and they all fell on the floor in a huge pile.

**Hi guys please review and fav and tell me what to do next. bye **

**p.s. sorry it's been a long time since I updated it**


	7. brotherhood literal trailer

"Hello and welcome back too hell, well for the assassins it is but not for you my dear readers .so what are we watching too day. "tawny said gleefully whilst reaching for the laptop.

The assassins were lounging around on the floor waiting and nervous because they didn't know what they were going to watch.

"well today we are going to watch "LITERAL Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood Trailer by tobuscus" I laughed evilly.

"oh brother "Connor said glumly.

"what, why do you say that." tawny said.

"it's just the way you said it. "all of the assassins and Templar chorused.

" ok, then let's just watch the video "tawny said sadly as she turned to the laptop to play the video.

**the words tobuscus appear on screen and a metal curtain thing comes down. then a disclaimer**

**_stargate, ubisoft, sparkle._**

**Black:**

**_A white matrix picks a date then faaaaaaaade._**

**_And people say Rome wasn't built in a dayyyyy-ah_**

"why is there so much emphasis of words its very annoying" Haytham tersely said.

**_BLOOM TRANSITION_**

**_The birds get the hell out of there because they know something's going down, is he gonna die? No it's a medium shot, pan, zoom, and slow-mo. means he's the target._**

**_Mysterious hooded man watches (whispered- from a distance)_**

"I wonder who that could be "Ezio said excitedly

**_Take a second to look awesome time to go walk in slow motion so you still look awesome, guard just saw you and he's gonna shoot you but don't mind him just keep looking awesome that shadow will take care of him._**

**_WHITE_**

**_Guard says "stop"._**

**_Just kill him with your awesome the other guard got hit by an arrow so you're good._**

**_PART THE RED SEA._**

**_Hopefully those guards have good armour._**

**_No they don't. maybe they do._**

**_ they don't. _**

**_now act like you didn't do it._**

**_they're not buying it._**

**_target comes out of his shelter._**

**_he's distracted by a feather._**

**_he's like "shoot me". _**

**_he likes feather's _**

**_he looks up when he remembers "ooh I love birds"_**

**_NOD AT THE BIRD AND PEOPLE DIE EVERYWHERE PEOPLE DIE, TARGET DOESN'T DIE._**

**_HES FINE._**

**_TARGET SENDS HORSE MEN TO DIE KILL THE HORSE, THE RIDER FALLS THE RIDER. THE RIDER FALLS DOWN._**

**_TARGETS STILL NODS AND SOME OTHER GUARD THAT WERE HIDING IN PILlARS._**

**_COME OUT AND THEN TAKE THEIR FORMATION THEN TARGET PULLS OUT HIS SWORD THEN GOES TO SMELL HIS SWORD …NOT SURE WHY._**

**_MYSTERIOUS HOODED MAN JOINED BY OTHER HOODED PEOPLE._**

**_YOURE NECT._**

**_RUN-NING, RUUUUUUUUNNING._**

**_SLOW MOTION JUMP ATTACK._**

"what did you think "tawny exclaimed

Ezio, fanboy-ing -was that me

Altair &amp;Connor, stoic and a bit angry - why don't we have something that awesome

Jacob- EVIE, I HAVE A NEW IDEA -

Evie- if it involves making some of the rook's assassins. No, you are NOT DOING IT.

Arno-fucking Italian, us French are equally as good I also have mysterious hooded people

Haytham- I don't know what I just watched.

**a/n – sorry for not updating this for months, but I am thinking of adding Edward, Malik and Leonardo. **


	8. Its Ok to be gay

**A/N by reading this chapter you are aware that it was your choice to read it. this is a warning that it has some explicit content if you haven't already seen the song. lyrics are in bold.**

"Hi, Guys sorry for the delay but I've been busy with school and other stuff," Tawny exclaimed to a hidden camera off stage.

*assassins /templars stare blankly*

"anyway, let's get on with the video, "she said with a malicious smirk. "we also have more guests please welcome Leonardo da Vinci or Leo, Malik." She said in her best announcer voice.

And with a big pink sparkly cloud, the 2 new guests flopped onto the floor in a big heap.

"Where are we, "they both said in unison.

"you are in my theatre of doom "Tawny said dramatically. "Nah, not really but you are in a theatre." Now please take your seats. Malik you're sitting next to Altair and Leo you're sitting next Ezio. "She finished.

Malik grumbled a "novice with a stern glare." Toward Altair.

Leo ran and hugged Ezio and spoke to him in Italian. and decided to sit on his lap** (AN/ I don't know Italian.)**

"right now, that's over let's get on with the video for today." Tawny said, "but just a warning there is some explicit content in this chapter so if you want to skip it go to the responses at the end of the chapter." She addressed the hidden camera. And got no blank stares this time.

**(A/N I'm only putting the lyrics because I try to keep it T rating if you don't want to read the lyrics skip to the responses at the end)**

**It's okay be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way**

**Father figures we are  
You're a shooting star you've come so far  
I was once in your shoes  
In a closet like you  
I had nothing to lose**

**Hey man gay man pick up the soap  
Get on your knees and pray  
Hey man gay man  
Release your load  
You've got to cease to delay  
The gay way**

**It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
Hooray! For the man!**

**Ooh, strong man  
Queen of the balls  
Some brotherly love is a pleasure for all  
Come out  
Open your eyes  
It's a matter of size**

**Hey man gay man pick up the soap  
Get on your knees and pray  
Hey man gay man  
Release your load  
You've got to cease to delay  
The gay way**

**It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Okay to be gay!  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way**

**Sing hallelujah (sing hallelujah)  
It's getting to ya (it's getting to ya)**

**Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Ho!  
Now remember  
There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over**

**It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
It's okay!  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way**

**West is where you should go  
To San Francisco  
I get that you know  
Would you gather my face  
So united we stand in a gay parade  
A human serenade**

**Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
It's okay to be gay!**

Responses

**"**what did you think then" tawny stoically said.

Altair, Connor, Haytham and Arno – "**CANNOT UN-SEE"** they screeched in unison

Ezio &amp; Evie - *trying to make Leo and Jacob stop but failing and ending up with a headache and hands over their ears. *

Leo &amp; Jacob - *Singing the song, together jovially *

Malik – "Wait, what were we watching, I was asleep". Said groggily

A/n I haven't added Edward because I'm not familiar with his character seen as I haven't played AC4 yet. and I am really sorry for not updating sooner and stuff because school is hard and I haven't been able to get on the computer much.


End file.
